What if you want something that you (think) you can’t get?

By Nasser

Yearning is a feeling

As young people, we are oftentimes encouraged to dream and dream big about our future.  But because of the unstable world we live in, these dreams can seem like fantasies. This is yearning, the feeling we get when we want something that we fear we can’t have, won’t be able to achieve, or don’t deserve. This is a powerful emotion that can drive us to reach our dreams and goals – or leave us feeling unfulfilled. It’s a strong emotion that can cause us to feel a deep longing for something, tangible or intangible.

Yearning is important and powerful

I firmly believe that yearning is an oft-neglected emotion that usually accompanies ambition and determination. Yearning is an emotion that can be both positive and negative. It can be a source of motivation and inspiration, driving us to reach our goals and strive for greater heights. Or, an emotion of regret leaving us wanting for something that could be or wishing we could go back in time and change the past. 

But here are two ways we can use our feelings of yearning as a tool for success: 

1. Recognize that there are always different pathways to our dreams and that we must be able to adapt and be flexible about not just our dreams realistically, but also about how difficult it will be to achieve them. 
2. Explore your feelings of yearning and push out the feelings of unworthiness of our dreams, and instead replace them with feelings that give us motivation. This can be hard but one good way to do this is to read about or watch biographies of people who’ve made it. A lot of people yearned and struggled for years before reaching their goals.

Watch this short video from Elijah on yearning to get more information:

Dissatisfaction as a tool

Whenever I get overwhelming feelings of a longing desire I can’t quite comprehend, nor can fully satisfy, I always remind myself that dissatisfaction is normal. The power of dissatisfaction can be a great way to reflect and find productive solutions to my goals. It’s a powerful emotion that can drive us to achieve our goals and strive for greatness, but it also can take us down a rabbit hole of depression. Ultimately, yearning is an emotion that we can use to our advantage, as long as we remember to use it wisely, by reflecting on it. 

How can we reflect?

Reflecting on yearning for me means looking back at the times you missed someone and something, and either committing to not taking them for granted anymore, or recognizing the importance of it/them in your life. I can also yearn for things I don’t have yet, and I need to reflect on what I could be doing to move my dreams along so that the yearning motivates me to make my dream a reality.

Managing the feelings before they overwhelm you is incredibly difficult. Not only does it take a consistent effort to appreciate something, but it also means not feeling anger, feelings of unworthiness, or sadness, take over.

If realized correctly, yearning can help make our dreams a reality, or it can bog you down in negative self-talk and distractions.

What’s your thinking?

Now that you know more about yearning, let’s take a moment to answer some questions about this blog.

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