Why Are Relationships So Difficult, Confusing, and Hard to Find?

by | Nov 3, 2023 | Building Blocks

Get ready for a new eye-opening podcast episode from the Bounce Back Generation crew! We’re diving into the nitty-gritty of forging awesome relationships and dealing with rejection – essential life tips for all you amazing teens and young adults out there.

The podcast episode hosted by Jennifer Dhillon featured Coach Lee Hopkins, a relationship expert on a mission to help people like us create fulfilling social connections in our personal and professional lives. His message revolves around authenticity and vulnerability as keys to forming deep, enriching relationships. So, let’s dive into what he had to say:

Authenticity is Our Superpower

Coach Lee Hopkins’s journey into relationship coaching began with feeling a sense of isolation and confusion. He grew up in a small town, watching others effortlessly make friends while he struggled to connect with people. This resonates with many of us who’ve felt left out, wondering what we’re doing wrong. The key here is to find your “tribe”, and sift through and find the people who like you, well, for you.

The takeaway here is that authenticity is your superpower. It’s not about conforming to be liked; it’s about being your true self and finding your tribe. Yes, rejection is painful, but it’s often a filter to help you discover authentic relationships. As Coach Lee Hopkins puts it in the podcast below, “I want to be around people who want to be around me.” Watch more to learn about creating good relationships, making friends, and more.

Why Are Relationships So Difficult, Confusing, and Hard to Find?

Coping with Rejection

Let’s talk about the inevitable rejection that we all face at some point in our lives. Coach Lee acknowledges that rejection can be tough, and it’s okay to cry and feel those emotions. The key is understanding that rejection doesn’t define your worth. People have their preferences, and you have yours. If someone rejects you for being yourself, remember you’re seeking out those who will celebrate you and your uniqueness. Podcast host Jennifer from BBG shared her experience in 11th grade where she decided not to make friends. Remember a time when you moved to a new place, or didn’t have friends? It’s a crucial lesson – enjoying your own company and appreciating your uniqueness, even if the whole world doesn’t.

Testing Authentic Relationships

So, how do you identify authentic relationships? Coach Lee suggests a four-step approach, which he calls the “Jist Story Method.” When sharing something about yourself with others, focus on these four elements:

Joy: Share something that brings you joy.
Importance: Share something important to you.
Security: Share something you’re secure about, regardless of others’ opinions.
Truth: Ensure your story is true and authentic.

By sharing these elements with someone, you can gauge their response. If they respond positively and with interest, it’s a sign of an authentic connection. Remember, it’s about how you feel when sharing and how they respond, rather than seeking external approval.

Overcoming Rejection

Crushing on someone who hasn’t noticed or rejected you can emotionally suck. Being rejected by a social group, or even by someone you want to be friends with, can also hurt a lot. Coach Lee offers guidance for these situations:
a. Imagined Rejection: If you haven’t made a move and fear rejection, remember that you can’t predict how people will react. Don’t let imagined scenarios hold you back from pursuing something and relationships that could be meaningful.
b. Handling Actual Rejection: If you’ve faced rejection, remember that it’s not the end of the world. Rejection can be a stepping stone to something better. Focus on your authenticity and finding people who appreciate you for who you are. Everyone has faced rejection at some point or another.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the path to building authentic relationships is truly challenging. It may be filled with rejection, hurt, and loneliness, but it’s also a journey of self-discovery and the joy of embracing your true self.

So, the next time you find yourself questioning your ability to make friends or facing the complexities of forming connections, remember that you are not alone. Coach Lee Hopkins’s insights serve as a powerful reminder that the journey to authentic, fulfilling relationships begins with being unapologetically yourself.

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About Nasser Albaqqal

Nasser Albaqqal is a 22 year old immigrant from Yemen who has been working with BBG since 2022. A graduate of San Jose State University, he is passionate about empowering individuals, families, and organizations to bounce back from the effects of toxic stress and trauma. His goal is to spread knowledge and understanding about the power of resilience and provide practical tools and resources to help people rid themselves of bad habits as a response to stress. Through the work he does, Nasser hopes to create content and blogs that not only meet the needs of the audience, but also helps them build and launch long-term successful recoveries.

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